Internet Safety

First be sure your children are safe.  Here are some basic but essential steps to take:

1.  Learn the terminology:  chat rooms are just like being in the same room with someone, "talking" in a live setting with total strangers.  Forums or messageboards are more controlled, where you post, and someone moderates the posts to determine if they are suitable for the discussion thread.  Then others reply.  There are Christian forums that can be very beneficial, but I cannot think of any reasons for children to join one.  Even adults can find this addictive, and adolescents must first learn how to socialize in person (even though it is scary and difficult).  IM means Instant Message, and a "Buddy List" is a list of friends, but be sure your teens are only contacting people they already know.  I caution against meeting and getting to know any strangers online, and this is especially dangerous for your underaged children since predators frequent the internet trying to lure your children in to a meeting in person.

2. Have an open communication line: let your children know that you can access their computer "cache" if needed, and check their "cookies" (even if you do not know what this means, you can say it :).  Sit down and have them show you where they frequent on the internet, what they do in school on the internet, and let them show off their computer skills (you might learn something too!).  In this environment, you can discuss what to do when they are exposed to offensive material.  Remember, even though you may have some filters in place, it is still easy and inevitable that your children will be exposed to objectionable images, but you can teach them how to "x" out of the website quickly, how to clean out their "cookies" that the website may have placed on the computer, and how to use search engines wisely For example, after a google, yahoo, or any search, check the website url before clicking on the link to see if it seems a reputable source.

3.  Leave the computer in an open area if possible, such as the living room.  That way anyone on the computer is aware that others may see the screen at any time.  If the computer is in the child's room, leave the screen where it is visible from the doorway, and have a policy of the door being left open (this is a good habit anyway- children need privacy when dressing, etc. but a door left open is best, and you can still knock before entering).  Monitor your children's conversations periodically, because internet predators are very skilled at convincing them to meet or discuss inappropriate material.

Next, ensure you protect your marriage:

1.  Does your spouse know what you do online?  Forums can be helpful for finding out and getting help on anything from getting stains out of materials, fixing your car, or using a software program.  There are also Christian forums (such as those on ChristianForums.net) that allow Christians to socialize online.  These can be great ministiry and connecting opportunities, but don't forget that a face to face event is best, and your marriage comes first.  Let your spouse know your name for each forum so they can browse your conversations- even better, type online together as a couple.  You can even browse ways to strengthen your marriage together.

2.  Be careful about making new friends online.  Making "couple" friends is one thing, but having an ear to listen in a person of the opposite gender can cause an emotional affair, and often a physical affair to develop.  Remember the internet is a valuable tool, but keep your communication lines open, and share your concerns with each other.